Fear: The Road Map to your Goals

Hiking has taught me so many valuable lessons about life (stay tuned for that blog post!) but the MOST important thing that I have learned is how to address my fears. Here is what I've learned about fear:

1. Fear is a completely natural emotion. It's okay to feel it and it is not a weakness.

2. Fear is something to be respected and acknowledged but shouldn't be the limiting factor in all that you do or don't do.

3. Our fear and insecurities can be used as a checklist of areas that we need to improve on.

4. It's okay to give into fear. You have the power to change your mind about something at any given time. Maybe this isn't right time - you can always return to something and try it again later. Maybe your fears are completely valid and the decision you make based upon them are appropriate - trust yourself and your judgement.

5. Working through your fear is the best feeling on earth! It can give you confidence and motivation to try new things.

Let's go back to number 3: FEAR CAN BE USED AS A CHECKLIST OF AREAS THAT WE NEED TO IMPROVE ON. This is it!! This is the best thing that I've learned on the trails. Here's my best trail story (short and sweet) of how I figured out I could make my fears work FOR me and not against me:

I set out to hike a new trail up on the mountain all by myself which is something that I really enjoy for "me time." I'm about a mile or so in and suddenly, I had this overwhelming realization of just how alone I really was. I'm in the middle of a heavily wooded forest high up on the mountain without a soul in sight - except for, that is, all of the huge scary wildlife that I know is out there watching me from afar. My mind became completely consumed with the thought of bears and mountain lions. While it was a completely valid fear, I was totally crippled by it and was no longer enjoying myself. I ended up turning around and did not make the summit. Honestly, I was so disappointed because it was the most beautiful hike that I had experienced thus far in my life. Luckily, I am a determined individual and even though I let my insecurities defeat me that time, I was damned if I wasn't going to return and finish that hike!

So here's what I did:

I wrote down the specific things that I was insecure and fearful about on this hike. Then I looked at each item and thought, "How can I fix that?" "How can I be more confident about this or in this situation?" What I was then left with was a list of skills to learn, a list of things to pack with me to make me feel safe and a list of things that I needed to research. After that, it was easy! Check, check, check. I checked each thing off the list as I completed it and when I had completed them all, I went back to the trail. I went back and reached the summit of the hike and I enjoyed every single second of it! Since then, I have repeated that hike numerous times and it is now my absolute favorite local hike. Of course, there are times when fear creeps back in, but I know that they're natural and I know that I am as prepared as I can be for whatever comes my way.

I've applied this technique to other aspects of my life as well. Currently, I'm applying it to my personal pilates practice. If you've been following me lately, you may know that I have set some goals for a super advanced exercise: "High bridge" on the reformer which basically stems from the ability to do backbends (which I have never done before in my life). I've also added handstand and headstands to the list - I'm 42, by the way, so these types of goals I think may sound totally nuts to most people my age. Of course, I have to give a shout-out to PILATES which, performance-wise, is actually making me younger every year, I swear! Back to my point: I have never tried these types of exercises because I have always disliked the feeling of being upside down. My dislike stemming from fear of being out of control of my body and consequently, injury. I've taken these fears into consideration and have developed a plan (a checklist, a road map) to make these exercises less scary to me so that I can reach these goals. And so far, it's going tremendously well!! It's so exciting to learn what you're capable of - especially at age 42.

HOW CAN YOU MAKE THIS WORK YOU?

It's important to be specific when you are writing down the things that you are insecure about. Don't be vague because as I mentioned earlier, this is going to be your road map. You need a place to start and a place to end (your goal). And then all the stops along the way are the steps to help you get to the end point. You can add stops as needed along the way. Remember: 1.) Be proud of each step that you complete! 2.) There are never too many stops on the journey!

Here are some examples from my own personal experiences:

1. Fear: I'm afraid of running into a bear.

I need to: Know what to do if I come across a bear (how to behave/act). Carry protection: bear spray, a gun. Educate myself on bear behavior. Learn what bear tracks and scat look like - is it old or fresh?

2. Fear: I'm uncomfortable being upside down.

I need to: Break this fear down even more. Why am I uncomfortable being upside down? Because I am not confident in my ability to hold myself in that position. I'm afraid of falling. I'm afraid of injury. Now I have a place to start my plan: Strengthen the specific muscles used in that particular exercise. Break the exercise down into pieces/modify it into easier parts. Use support (props) while performing inverted exercises. Pad the work area with yoga mats.